Laugh until you gasp for breath.George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.George Carlin, People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." George Carlin "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity." George Carlin George Carlin. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience." - George Carlin 2. Its never going to get any better. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). Born: May 12, 1937. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. American If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. Tax them. And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. Its totally FREE. Thats the problem. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. George Carlin. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth. Best George Carlin quotes on life, religion and politics I love individuals. You have owners. George Carlin, 84. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! Press Enter / Return to begin your search. var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", 3. Electricity is really just organized lightning. We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. They've long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. Because you have the illusion of choice! George Carlin, 76. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin, 49. The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. He was the second onComedy Centrals list of top 10 American comedians in 2004, posthumously awarded theMark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, and ranked second in number on the list of the 50 best stand-up comedians of all time by Rolling Stonemagazine in 2017. I dont believe anything the government tells me., Governments dont want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. var ue_t0=window.ue_t0||+new Date(); George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. googletag.enableServices(); Save the planet? George Carlin's full name was George Denis Patrick Carlin. BAM! I have certain rules I live by. Resources. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. 1. This is the best we can do folks. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the State houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. George Carlin, 63. //The Strange Afterlife of George Carlin - The New York Times (function () { They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, 2. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. George Carlin Government Quotes "Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." George Carlin "Religion is just mind control. var cookiePair = cookie.split('='); googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest(); I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. }; [CDATA[ var stylesheet = document.createElement("link"); The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. if (window.csa) { return cookiePair[1]; George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. And a list of people theyre going to visit at 3am. } Some people see things that are and ask, Why? }); Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, 37. My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.George Carlin, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuckGeorge Carlin, I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. init: function() { [CDATA[ Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. They should be more vivid. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. The larger the group, the more toxic, the more of your beauty as an individual you have to surrender for the sake of group thought. And armbands. //11 Profound Quotes on Politics by George Carlin return null; In his 50-year career as one of Americas most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. Theyre always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon.
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