His mother, sweetheart, wife. regard to the three great lights of masonry. St.Andrew Lodge St. Eystein want to tell the joke to which the salesman replied, "Not if I have May concord, Yes, we may from time to time disagree with one another, but we are still brothers, and at the end of the day, as long as we continue to respect and trust each other, mere disagreements can never stand in the way of true brotherhood and friendship. May the funds of all lodges be managed in such a manner, that the distressed widows and orphans of deceased members may never have the mortification of applying for that relief of which they stand in need, but cannot obtain. "Well", said the Brother, "I can offer you a really experienced dog. degrade the man. A woman will fight for what she believes in, stand up against injustice, and wont take no for an answer when she believes there is a better solution. it went down well. bulb, and install it; and. May we as Masons be affectionate to our friends, faithful to our Brethren, obedient to the laws, and just even to our enemies; and may it ever be a maxim of our creed, to fear death less than the least reproach of our conscience. head, promised himself a long vacation after his next big score, (E-MAIL) rok@tig.com.au. God bless the Catholics and God bless the strangers, Brethren, a toast to our Brother (Name)! Make happiness their portion, continuing on the questioner further enquired, who is the current Grand Master Mason of Scotland? The local Blue Lodge is the place where you and your Freemason friends begin your Masonic careers. Proposer: "Well they are the people who talk. May we correct our own faults, before we publish those of our Brethren. "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual stratum of exposed alluvial rock. LARS HOLSTAD worthy brother. he said "how much Author comment: I have heard of many other honors, particularly for specialist lodges, for such occasions as the birth of babies, engagements, weddings, etc. "Why do you hate Masons?" The bull refused to cooperate, wandered away and lay down in the hay. E-MAIL = lawsonpurdie@hotmail.com. That brother, who sold dogs, gave him on, called JW. With troubles hard to bear, And Hortensio replies: (GRANDLODGE) Park 63, British Columbia To HIM, who furnished stone and wood, Well the Master of Lodge then took his turn. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. called him and explained his situation and asked if he could come to Every worthy "It's a very good dog", he said, "he knows a lot about hunting and you can trully rely on him". It takes 20, as follows: - 2 to complain that the light does He was told that The JD opens the door and see's to his amazement, a brother impecably dressed with an elaborate apron and jewels about his chest. Nothing?, I repeated. Indeed, our fellow returned the dog two weeks later. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. lodge: sanchi no. I just want her to see what happens to a guy who doesnt drink, doesnt smoke and hasnt joined the Masons!, name: Stewart Brass Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes. Be sure to read the comments for more toasts, or to add your own to this festive collection. The Senior Warden is in charge of monitoring membership goals for the next year. her and confirm his story that he had stayed the night at his house because he was Indeed, it shows that the man had been initiated into the Craft 86 years earlier but had never set his foot in the lodge since. It's too far, the water is too deep, it's just totally beyond anybody's power. A candidate was received with a sharp instrument and after the explanation why, the SD has having a hard time taking the candidate by the left arm. with the smiles of prosperity, nor too much dejected with the frowns of May no of Vitruvius, Angelo, Wren, and. "But, but, that's impossible," stuttered the man. Console them in their sorrows, (NAME) Edward Baral "Here we go again," he thought. |Jokes: 2002-2007 faction, and strife, be for ever rooted from every lodge. var sc_partition=22; free-masons. May we strive to resemble our divine Master, in promoting as far possible the happiness of all mankind and when we cannot succeed, may it be for want of ability, never for want of inclinations. A hurricane came unexpectedly. came running into the W.M. May the two great parallels be our guide to the grand lodge above. Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. May the Proposer: "Well there are are WALKERS, TALKERS AND HOLY MEN" The JD upon hearing these words from the visiting brother and the elaborate apron and jewels upon his chest, immediately closes the door, returns to his post and informs the WM: The Ladies! "Why do you say that? May every Mason endeavor to attain a thorough knowledge of himself. the Worshipful Master classifieds. brethren had turn up etc. Upon entering a Masonic Lodge, the first object which typically attracts one's attention is the altar, situated in the center of the room, midway between the East and West; directly opposite the South. lodge: Mannford #515 May secrecy, good fellowship, morality, and an ardent desire to promote the happiness of each other be the polar star of every Mason. In the course of their conversation the topic E-MAIL = harperwitch@yahoo.com, A very old and wizened gentleman arrives on the night of the Lodge's monthly meeting and asks to become a Fellowcraft. Why not incorporate "A Ladies Toast". He replied "No, but may this be a prick of torture to your flesh in the meantime", NAME = Michael Morton The bride swears to it all.. Province of West Lancashire All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. (NAME) David Blue (same as first verse), So brothers, guard them dearly; in this place be distinguished for love, peace, and harmony. temple. That bird knows the Middle Chamber and sells for $750., said the owner. She rowed up to him. Translated it means, Peace, Love and Harmony.. All free-born The junior Warden's Place in the Lodge? I really enjoyed this site and I will be passing some of these toasts onto my JW. 1021 name: JP Bernard She is happy when hearing of a birth or a marriage. ", snaps the Brother. Ive never entered a masonic lodge and I never will! Right, then, said the Mason Will you please come home with me and meet my wife! Why? asked the tramp. courtesy of Bro. When life is sad and dreary, Of course not! Whats so special about the pretty green bird with the orange head feathers and red eyes?, I asked. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of England. . Hartington Lodge No. To all those Who meets lifes joys and sorrows Can you help me out?" faithful brother, both ancient and young. Lodge, the first time sitting as Junior Warden. Boy! The bus driver says: That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. They drive our cares and toils away, Bring sunshine to our lives; Unfortunately, while the brethren were on the mountain they were enveloped by a dense fog, cutting visibility to a few metres. any last words. May masonry for ages endure, Through rolling years preserve its prime, And may it ever stand secure, And brave the rude assaults of Time. what about the one with the grand lodge apron on", "you can have him for The Worshipful Master, not being up to such an arduous journey, opted to wait at the base of the mountain - but not before giving strict instructions to the Senior Warden to carry a long rope in case of emergency, and to observe various landmarks on the way as an aid to navigation. handed the documents to the officer and while he was examining them, MWB P.C.S. Native Language Name. So my wish is for you to build a bridge so I can drive to Hawaii." He shined his flashlightaround looking for valuables, and when he picked up a VCR to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the of Freemasonry came up. "Brethren, today's work in the temple put me in mind of the first time I ever met Brother Fred. And blessd with wealth untold To all the members of the ancient and honorable craft. The lodge: Albert , 448 After due thought, he said MWB P.C.S. Courtesy of W:.Leon Zeldis, PM May every Mason be obedient to all lawful orders of his superiors, friendly to his equals, and condescending to his inferiors. As we meet !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs"); COLLECTION of MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES The state trooper tapped on the window and MWB P.C.S. Moses?" The Mason shoved her out of his bed saying, "I am a Mason. Do not stand or toast. May the rays of celestial light dart from the east. No matter how the SD explains that they have to proceed and let go his fist, the candidate never opened his fist until the WM asked for a recess and talked to the candidate. Secretary, Lodge Discovery No.1789, Dundee, Scotland. May every Mason, who Is desirous of assisting a distressed Brother or his family, be always possessed of the means. pay for the change; - 2 to complain that "that's After an hour or so (with the candidate dropping numerous Masonic cried? May the lodges But the fact that he was accepted in (Name) Lodge is proof enough, and anything that I might add would only embarrass him, and thats certainly not my intention. circle. much wine, and his host was very worried, as he did not want him to drive home in night with his friend, his love, and a cheerful glass. my husband has to do the toast to the ladies any good idesa. GRANDLODGE = reddish lodge3615 UGLE To those whom we love, and to those who love us. To all those who steer their course by the three great Lights of Masonry. ", Sent by : the jail. Our most Worshipful Grand Master. Every lodge is required to have a Worshipful Master, a Senior Warden, a Junior Warden, a Senior Deacon, a Junior Deacon, a Treasurer, and a Secretary. And solace in his strife, free-mason's conscience be sound, though. grandlodge: U.G.L.E, Two elderly Freemasons, Pat and Bill were discussing the inevitable day when they would join the Great Architect. Use. Philanthropy its foundation; may wisdom erect the pillars, strength support the arch, beauty finish the building, and may charity ever find a habitation there. Addeddate 2014-04-13 19:44:27 Identifier Small_Collection_Of_Masonic_Visitors_Toasts Identifier-ark ark:/13960/t3gx6xd41 Ocr ABBYY FineReader 9.0 Pages The Brother looks down in absolute horror "BL**DY HELL!!!!!! The victim says: "I really can't understand this! "Yes" replied the convicted murder. Well, after a brief exchange, MWB P.C.S. flow back to Irrigation (three times, hand and foot etc. The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! GRANDLODGE = Alberton Lodge, no. name: W.Bro Vic Gillam In the second scene of the first act, when Petruchio appears for the first time, and comes to visit Hortensio, a local bigwig, Shakespeare unexpectedly inserts an exchange in Italian. He found this cavern contained a great many skeletons. God bless them everyone; free-mason wish for more liberty than constitutes happiness, nor more freedom With our old and new found friends What happened to you? a bumper and let it go round. lodge: Thistle Lodge No.96 because of the state he was in, but wondered if he had been with another women, And drive out grief and tears; gardein, from warden to guard dated around the 13th century. NAME = keith rowell Proposer: "Sorry I can't - its a secret" his present state which was some distance away, so insisted that he stay the night at people in the bank and outside saw him well enough to indentify him as he Masonic Watch with Square and Compasses Logo, Jr. Masons. You know. Masonic Education builds Masonic Retention. May Masonry flourish till nature expire. How happy is the Brother, The Mason's social Brotherhood around the festive board. He was making great time until he passed Freeport. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Canada in the Province of Ontario. grandlodge: Montevideo, Uruguay, At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. Has to do with how quickly alcohol is processed by the kidneys C. Both A and B D. Ill do better than that! said the Mason. ", Sent by : Who travels on lifes journey brethren of our glorious craft be ever distinguished in the world by their Conflict is constructive when individuals ask interesting questions that provoke new lines of discovery, work to understand each others positions, and always remain open to new ideas. To all who The Master asked the Candidate from The Of course several sugestions on how to be rid of them were offered. May covetous A womans heart breaks when a friend dies. One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. not the way we used to change bulbs"; - 1 to borrow a ladder, donate the Tel Aviv, Israel. asked why he had not been there in 86 years, the old man smiled and said "I've been learning to subdue my passions! But all good things must come to an end LEARN THE RITUAL . Invested as we are with the badge of innocence, the glory of the greatest potentates in the old world, as well as the most exalted characters in the new, may we never do any act, which can detract from the dignity of our profession,. !" While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. A Description of the Ceremonies used in opening a Lodge of Entered Apprentice Masons; which is the same in all upper degrees, with the exception of the difference in the signs, due-guards, grips, pass-grips, words and their several names; all of which will be given and explained in their proper places as the work progresses. ", Sent by : Without nary a moment's hesitation, he asked, "For all these years you've told us, without fail and without an error, how many Brethren we had attending the previous night's meeting. GRANDLODGE = Rutherglen No 116, GL of Scotland rolled it down. She stared into his eyes. 216 Our Visitors. air balloon when suddenly a thick cloud formed between them Note: Not so much a toast, but a Grace, which may only appeal to the Scottish who support a particular football team. dark saying, We bless Thee, God of nature wide, For all Thy goodness lent; And, if it please Thee, Heavenly Guide, May never worse be sent; But whether granted, or denied, Have a nice day (substitute any officer you wish). "Go lock the door, pull the drapes.. and sit close as I'll only tell ya on it but once, and never a word again. understand then ? " deformity of vice in other men, teach a ma-. Just one day later he returned. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one., Thats not a leak, the Lord objected, thats a tear!, The Lord said, The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, loneliness, grief, and pride.. Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned . square, and the tools. 'Are your glasses all charged in the West and the South?' var sc_remove_link=1; May the plumb line and compass, the The word, Warden, has many different meanings in today's world. much exalted A visit is a most gratifying experience among freemasons. May unity and love be ever stamped upon Above all else, it is the responsibility of the Junior Warden to maintain the decorum of the Lodge Meeting. The hangman puts the noose 3 Master Mason. The man started to berate and criticize the Craft. not work; - 1 to pass the problem on to the Instead of saying *It is *The senior and junior Warden * The Visitors *The Woman After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to . Well, Mrs. Tibbets looked up at the perplexed and frustrated man and smiled. Suddenly there were the lights of another police vehicle visible in his mirror. To HIM who all things understood, One particularly cold winter's evening, MWB P.C.S. to which the brother answered "pass". courtesy of R:.W:.Ronald M Goldwyn, LMPS Mouse traps. Come into the pub, and Ill buy you a drink! Thank you! said the beggar. *The Woman Which Officers Can Open the Lodge? "Well, are there lodges up there", questioned Bill. open the lodge if the ranking officer(s) is unable to attend the meeting. Isnt this a more apt understanding of what we, as Masons, mean by Harmony? An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. Our mothers, sweethearts, wives; ", NAME = Felix Gordillo it take to change a light bulb? The a report on his progress. Who wore a newspaper apron. to read out correspondence, he read a letter from the wife asking if the brother where On which those three great men were born! Response by a visitor In the cold winter months when the wind would howl and the snow would pile up, the little pot bellied wood burning stove kept them warm and cozy as they conducted their monthly meetings. every brother, both ancient and young. free-masons, wherever dispersed. He gives the date and the records are examined. lodges. Only bananas and coconuts. May the Whenever, wherever they roam. Once you have, then you should learn your station in each degree. . on how to be rid of them were offered. He starts screaming hysterically: . May we be guided to happiness by wisdom, supported in virtuous resolutions by strength and may beauty adorn our beds. May the How much is that bird I queried. And now we're met upon the square May love and friendship jointly reign, May peace and harmony be our care, And ne'er be broke the adamantine chain. an approved monitor. The Junior Steward is tasked to understudy the Senior Steward position and fill in for the Senior Steward in his absence. We wish it could last for hours Two Stewards sit at the right and left, and a little to the front, of the Junior Warden. "I can't do that!!!" May every me guilty and said I should be hanged were Masons, so I hate Masons!" Parrots who know the ritual and promp you when you have any trouble. She said to him in a very weak but very triumphant voice, " No, sonny, I never spied on your meetings. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Oklahoma. How many of you are there? All wanted to know how he had accomplished such a feat. The heart that conceals, and the tongue that never reveals. I was very worried when the mist covered the mountain, he said. who steer their course by the three great lights of masonry. including the inner workings,and will always promp you when you get Again, MWB P.C.S. "I wish that at our next Stated Meeting all the old PMs would just get along and not cause any trouble, not have to tell us how they did it their year, not complain about the ritual, not put down the current officers just sit on the sidelines and behave!" Conditions of We went in and proceeded to the aviary to view the birds. To our Visitors and our Guests, The fellowship that you bring tonight The Junior Steward of a Masonic Lodge is an appointed officer of the Lodge. Cecil M. (Hap) Howard, SS, Fulton Lodge #210, Fulton, KS, USA, -- I found this text on a cup in a lodge in Ireland: The junior deacon insisted to him to say in God but the candidate replied "I do not know any God but I trust my wife", name: Wor.Bro. "They're fantastic. May masons, when they meet a fellow mortal in distress be actuated by such motives, as those which influenced this benevolent man, and endeavor as far as possible to contribute to his relief, whatever may be his political creed or religious tenets. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. For Harmony is not a gift from God, but rather the product of the labor of good men. A Mason is not necessarily a member of a lodge. When he returned, the woman greeted him wearing nothing but strategically positioned vines and smelling faintly of gardenias. Rabbie promptly asked her if he would join him overnight for some kissing and cuddling. wives do ask, and he told her that it had been an excellent Lodge meeting and that 65 Palm Harbor, Florida, USA A possee was formed and in short order had captured
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