By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. 75. Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. funny response to are you still alive At minding my own business? The answer is simple. 38. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. Stop asking me why Im single! You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. funny response to are you still alive - claudiovoiceovers.com Because youre highly qualified. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. Stop joking! Thats why Im single. Through humorous musings about Scalia's . Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? 10. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. My bad, its just your mouth. I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". The hottest single of the year is me. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? All rights reserved. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. 20 Perfect Responses To Send When Your Ex Texts You - Vixen Daily Are you going to marry me? Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. "Alright. Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. Pick your struggle. I'm wondering how you are. 81. "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok 2. Liked what you just read? Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. 85. If I had a tail, I would wag it! You don't need to say it. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. What could go wrong? Because Jamaican me crazy! 65. 26. How Am I Still Alive. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. They might even steal it to use in the future. Susan Winter, relationship expert, and bestselling author, This article was originally published on Dec. 15, 2020. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. 77. 18. a fate worse than death." How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. Im too expensive. 17. Do you really care? You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. 10. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. Congratulations, sir. People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" 1. Some people spend all their time on their phone. 10. Impressive! Hanging on. It can be good to just say it how it is. Everyone has a different sense of humor. 35. I favour the "How am I what?" No one loves superheroes. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. This one kills me! But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. 11. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. - Anonymous. Let them know that you're itching to go on a date. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." This one is funny when you havent said anything. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. 101 Savage, Good Comebacks for Every Witty, Funny or Rude - LovePanky 15. Tom Lehrer - Wikipedia Ever wondered: "What if I'm buried when I'm just in a coma?" Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. My only talent is not being in a relationship. 4. 84. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. 73. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. Are you flirting with me right now? 68. Stupidity isnt a crime. If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. 28. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. Is everything stable at your end? Not everybody may appreciate them. 67. So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. I repeat I am plural! Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. No? Image: wikimedia commons 6. Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? . 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! Financially? "Still alive" is polite. Elon Musk targets Sen. Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! (This is an awesome response if you want to fluster them and catch them off-guard) So much better now that you are with me. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. Getting better with every passing second. You might just find one. Your secrets are always safe with me. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? Try a Humorous Reply when Someone Asks "How Are You?" - All Women's Talk I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. Everything is always better on payday right!? Me being single is just a conspiracy! 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. 67 Of The Most Hilarious Responses To Public Notices Ever No, waitIm actually plural. 32. As anyone who knows anything about human biology will know, when a woman misses her period, that is a sign she is pregnant.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_13',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Therefore, if she were to rely on your messages for her period, she would be pregnant by now. The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! and our If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. I suggest you do a little soul searching. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. 100+ Funny Things to Ask Alexa (with its Hilarious Responses) - ITTVIS Keep talking. Its going great, really! Thank you Fred. Well, are you? Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. Sort of. [*clap your hands*]. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! . Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves. I used to think you were a pain in the neck. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Im single by choice. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. Share the best GIFs now >>> Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. Funny as phuck. What to say when your crush asks how you are? Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. 93. Cookie Notice 1. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. How do you think that I am doing? To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? You should really come with a warning label. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. "Any day above ground is a good day. Scroll down! Opposites attract, right? 28 Witty Responses To Ghosting That'll Haunt Them Forever - Bustle Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. 52. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". If they take several days to talk to you again, thats a sign that either they dont want to talk to you, or, they were so dirty that its taken them that song to shower. Alive Jokes. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. Spiritually? Socioeconomically? In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. 101. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. Why would he text me "Are you still alive?"? - GirlsAskGuys Going strong. 12. When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. Chuck Bass? Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. Because Im awkward and ugly. Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. Mentally? "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. This one is a bit long. 34 Best Responses To Late Replies (While Texting) but that was before I read Fred's comment below. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. 3. No, not really. My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. Reply. 2. But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. For your information, Im in a relationship with food. 24. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . I just woke up like that one day. When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. 16. The police? Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. I will leave that up to your imagination. 51 Funny and Flirty Responses to "How Are You" Texts 2. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. So much better than most people. Keep calm and be awesome. You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. You'll love these 67+ Sarcastic Instagram Captions for couples, friends Congrats, guys! My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. 57. 82. 2. To text, most of us need our thumbs. In fact, they're taking too much of it. 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. That's impossible. 30 Funny Comebacks For Late Messages - Grammarhow provided, of course, that he really is dead." | Are you surviving? 96. At least my hair looks amazing. 18. I dont think youre stupid. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". 20 Funny Out-of-Office Messages to Inspire Your Own [+ Templates] - HubSpot What's your sign? 4. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. Why do you ask? Im not single. Just Smile And Nod Youre totally on the same page. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. (bonus points to you if you sing it). Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! You were a young man when you last spoke. 100+ Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Youre a ground-hugger. Don't Push It Too Far. If I was doing any better, I would hire you to enjoy it with me. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. Hope you're well". Are you going to help me have a good day? The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. Do you have a minute? 13 Wildly Successful People Answer the Question: "What Do You Do?" Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. Ive had worse. 56. (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! It is a basic courtesy that when one of your leads converts to a paying customer, you demonstrate your gratitude and make their transfer as smooth as possible. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. Still Alive synonyms - 44 Words and Phrases for Still Alive Steven Wright (comedian). Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. How To Answer "Why Are You Single?": 33 Ideas - Elite Daily On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. Oh, stop it, will you? "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. 90. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. Im in a relationship with myself. 47. Required fields are marked *. Best "How Are You?" Answers. I hope you like some of them. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) 15. Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. 6. So, you changed your mind? Phil lives in England, UK, and has around 20 years experience as a professional life, career and executive coach. Not bad. 76. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. Unlikely, but worth a shot. Thats because my crush is a fictional character. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? Do you want the short or the detailed version? 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. It's all about confidence. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. Is that a scar on your face? What do you say when people ask you that? But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply.